took the midnight train going anywhere

short on money, long on time, living the life i want to live

2007-04-25T06:41:00.001-07:00

well my dears,
im sick.
again.
sitting at home for two days straight is pointless!!
let me tell you
if i have to sit at home watching reruns for one more day,
who knows what i'll do!
=]
on a brighter note
congrats to kylie on her new boy toy
hehe

i've officially decided that i'm just going to chill
lifes ok right now
not fabulous but not terrible
so im just gonna chill
if a guy comes along thats great but i dont really care.

and this is where things wind down to a close
if you cant find me,
just come look on my couch.
that's where i'll be. =]

all my love,
mel belle♥

"New Shoes"

Woke up cold one tuesday,
I'm looking tired and feeling quite sick,
I felt like there was something missing in my day to day life,
So i quickly opened the wardrobe,
Pulled out some jeans and a T-Shirt that seemed clean,
Topped it off with a pair of old shoes,
That were ripped around the seams,
And i thought these shoes just don't suit me.

[CHORUS:]
Hey, I put some new shoes on,
And suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling,
It so inviting,
Oh, short on money,
But long on time,
Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine,
And i'm running late,
And i dont need an excuse,
'cause i'm wearing my brand new shoes.

Woke up late one thursday,
And i'm seeing stars as i'm rubbing my eyes,
And i felt like there were two days missing,
As i focused all the time,
And i made my way to the kitchen,
But i had to stop from the shock of what i found,
A room full of all my friends dancing round and round,
And i thought hello new shoes,
Byebye them blues.

[CHORUS]

Take me wondering through these streets,
Where bright lights and angels meet,
Stone to stone they take me on,
Im walking to the break of dawn. [x2]

[CHORUS (x2)]

Take me wondering through these streets

2007-04-25T06:41:00.000-07:00

so why don't we go somwhere only we know

2007-04-13T14:50:00.000-07:00

well everyone
im back.
i had no time to write.
but i promise i will make some.
just for you.
=]

im trying to accept the fact now that things just arent going to go the way that i want them to.
yes i work hard and try to do my best, but for some reason it still isn't enough.
i don't understand.
why is it happening to me?
its just not right.

it doesn't help that sudddenly everyone around me is finding someone.
suddenely i'm the lonely girl that can't get a man.
suddenely everything i do is used against me.
suddenely i don't matter.
i just need someone to be there for me.
wether its the guy i want it to be or a guy i just met.
i need them.

i just wish it was summer.
i could start over and try to make things better.
maybe i'll actually have fun.
maybe i'll find someone.
maybe i won't.
but at least the odds will then be in my favor.

do you feel like a man, when you push her around?

2007-03-06T16:25:00.000-08:00

i was thinking about this while listening to red jumpsuit apparatus
why do guys think its so awesome if they hurt a girl
why?
its not cool
or hip.
its dumb.
no one will think you are "the man".
its ridiculous.

staying on the sad bus,
i think i may have made an intersting decision
not that it will harm anyone
but it does harm me.
should i have done that?
or stayed with what i wanted.
im thinking i just did it because everyone wanted me to.
damn peer pressure.
and it wasnt horrible pressure,
but it was still there.

oh well.
i must be off, after all
there is a world who needs me.

wanting the world to change,
little p♥

Face Down by red jumpsuit apparatus
Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.

I see the way you go and say your right again,
say your right again
heed my lecture

Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down a new life she has.

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
its coming round again.
(repeat)

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the grown?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..
(repeat)

well its been quite a while ladies and gents

2007-03-02T15:15:00.000-08:00

un back dears
and im coming back strong
i just needed a break, from all this craziness
from it all.
but that no longer matters.

at lunch today, we were discussing how awesome our lovely Reggie is
and we have decided that he listens to the titanic soundtrack in his car

Reggie, you are the king of the world
my heart will go on Reggie, my heart will go on

Today i also realized how much i love my best friend
i can talk to her about anything, important or pointless,
and she always listens.
she cares and it makes me happy to know that at least one person likes me.
I lurve you ky

Well im off
got to get ready for the ohs show
me and ky are going to see denton and ryan
=]

hoping that the world will turn her way,
little p♥

Honey, I'm Home!!

2007-01-03T16:56:00.000-08:00

well its taken a while,
but im finally back.
i guess i just needed a break.
but its all good now.

well lifes going pretty good so far in 2007
i'm in an awesome relationship
my friends are as crazy as ever
speech team is amazing
poms is getting better
and just everything is rocking

maybe not everything
like life at home could be better
but no worries,
its all good.

well yeah
thats pretty much all the updating i feel is needed
so im sorry to say it,
but i'll have to be going now.
but dont worry,
i'll be back

here's to you kids,
little P ♥

heres that song i was telling you about Li
The Tennis Song

STONE:
You seem at home on the court

ALAURA:
Let's say that i've played around

STONE:
Well you don't look like the sort

ALAURA:
My hidden talents abound
A competitor hasn't been found to defeat me

STONE:
I'll bet you're a real good sport

ALAURA:
Shall we say the ball is in your court

STONE:
I'll bet you like to play rough

ALAURA:
I like to work up a sweat

STONE:
And you just can't get enough

ALAURA:
I'm good for more than one set
But i promise i'll show no regret
If you beat me

STONE:
My backhand is clearly my forte

BOTH:
Shall we say the ball is in your court

ALAURA:
No one ever plays with me

STONE:
I thought your next of kin did

ALAURA:
My husband never plays with me
He's too easily winded.

STONE:
You leave me breathless too

ALAURA:
Wait till our match is through

STONE:
I may lack form and finesse
But i warm up in a jiff

ALAURA:
It's not exciting unless
The competition is stiff

STONE:
I think i understand your racket
I'm not in your league

ALAURA:
But you can hack it

STONE:
This game commences with love

ALAURA:
Well i think love is a bore

STONE:
Let's give the tempo a shove

ALAURA:
And raise the stakes a bit more

BOTH:
One thing i'm positive of
It's time for someone to score

STONE:
Tell me how you like to play

ALAURA:
On grass or clay
And ev'ry day

STONE:
They're both o.k.

ALAURA:
But time is running short
Darling, let's don't dilly dally

STONE:
Ready for a rousing rally

BOTH:
Shall we say the ball is in your court

ALAURA:
Shall we say the ball is in your court

thoguht i would share some awesome icons with you

2006-12-18T16:57:00.000-08:00

and goodbye 'till tomorrow...........

2006-12-18T15:59:00.000-08:00

well ladies and gents
today was..............
well it was today.
im hoping tomorrow will be better
and someone might actually acknowledge my existence then.
that would be nice,
at least more than
"you leavin?"
"yea"
"Oh, bye"
*hug*

yup
doesnt that make me feel loved
i dunno what to do anymore.
not to sound like the song, but
should i stay or should i go?

searchin for answers,
~Little P.

heres an amazing song from ,
yeah you guessed it,
the last five years.

Don't kiss me goodbye again
Leave this night clean and quiet
You want the last word
You want me to laugh
But leave it for now

All you can say
All you can feel
Was wrapped up inside that one perfect kiss
Leave it at that:
I'll watch you turn the corner and go...

And goodbye until tomorrow
Goodbye until the next time you call
And I'll be waiting

Goodbye until tomorrow
Goodbye till I recall how to breathe
And I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you

I stand on a precipice
I struggle to keep my balance
I open myselfI open myself one stitch at a time

Finally yes!
Finally now!
Finally something takes me away
Finally free!
Finally he can cut through these strings
And open my wings!

So goodbye until tomorrow!
Goodbye until my feet touch the floor
And I will be waitingI will be waiting!
Goodbye until tomorrow
Goodbye until the rest of my life
And I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you

I called Elise to help me pack my bags
I went downtown and closed the bank account
It's not about another shrink
It's not about another compromise
I'm not the only one who's hurting here
I don't know what the hell is left to do
You never saw how far the crack had opened
You never knew I had run out of rope and
I could never rescue you
All you ever wanted
But I could never rescue you
No matter how I tried
All I could do was love you hard
And let you go

No matter how I tried
All I could do was love you
God, I loved you so

So we could fight
Or we could wait
Or I could go...

Goodbye until tomorrow!
Goodbye until I crawl to your door
And I will be waitingI will be waiting

You never noticed how the wind had changed

Goodbye until tomorrow!

I didn't see a way we both could win

Goodbye until I'm done thanking God
For I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you
I have been waiting!

Goodbye, Cathy

I have been waiting for you

Goodbye

I will keep waiting -I will be waiting for you
Just close the gate
I'll stand and waitJamie...

Goodbye

my brown eyed girl.

2006-12-13T15:29:00.000-08:00

brown/hazel eyes

-Sexy as hell are adorable, love to make new friends. Their relationship tends to be very honest cause if they aren't truly in love, then the relationship won't work. (((They fall easily for their bestfriends))). Will do anything for that special person. Kind and polite. Can make ANYONE laugh or cheer them up. Loves to please the one they care for or love,VERY good kissers, are straight up WARRIORS.

to lazy to actually type, maybe more later

~little p♥

yup, i was wrong

2006-12-06T17:44:00.000-08:00

at least im admitting it i guess
=/
oh well

i really need to finish memorizing my HI
but im starting to think it isnt very funny
now thats just odd.

i also really need my G.S. book
but of course i forgot it at school
=(
i'll survive though

well today was fun.
singing rent in spencers car,
getting coffee,
listening to peoples OC, SOS, Hi, Di, etc.,
just having fun,
except for getting poned by tori at mancala,
curse you my fake sister,
curse you.

just waiting for tomorrow,
~little p.♥

a little song for the amazing women of the world

I'm a woman
Smokey Joe's Cafe

can wash out forty-four pairs of socks
And have them hangin out on the line
I can starch and iron two dozen shirts
Before you can count from one to nine
I can scoop up a great big dipper
Full of lard from the drippin's can
Throw it in the skillet,
go out and do my Shopping and be back before it melts in the pan'

Cause I'm a woman
Double U O M A N
I'll say it again

I can rub and scrub till this old house
Is shinin like a dime
Feed the baby, grease the car and
Powder my face at the same time
Get all dressed up, go out and swing
Till four a.m. and then
Lay down at five, jump up at six
And start all over again

'Cause I'm a woman
Double U O M A N
I'll say it again

If you come to me sickly, you know I'm gonna make you well
If you come to me hexed up,
You know I'm gonna break the spell
If you come to me hungry,
You know I'm gonna fill you full o' grits
If it's lovin' you're lackin', I'll kiss you
And give you the shiverin' fits

'Cause I'm a woman
Double U O M A N
I'll say it again

I can stretch a greenback dollar bill
From here to kingdom come
I can play the numbers, pay my bills
And still end up with some
I got a twenty dollar gold piece says
There ain't nothin I can't do
I can make a dress out of a feed bag
And I can make a man out of you'

Cause I'm a woman
Double U O M A N
I'll say it again'

Cause I'm a woman
Double U O M A N
And that's all

second guessing.............

2006-12-05T18:25:00.000-08:00

maybe its not like i thought.

or it is, but it ended differently then planned.

i dunno,

all i know is that i was wrong to judge things to early

i think

hopefully this week will turn good.

hoping, no praying for that turning point,
little p

a song from smokey joes cafe
gotta love it

Fallin'
Smokey Joe's Cafe

If I tremble when I'm by your side
If I look a little starry eye
Darling, would you get the message
I'm falling, falling in love with you

If I'm trying hard to come on cool
And I come off looking a fool
Darling, don't you get the message
I'm falling, falling in love with you

If I don't like know just what to say
And I'm acting in a foolish way
That's the way it is to send valentines
You got to learn to read between the lines

So I keep my feelings locked in a place
I love you, it's written on my face
Darling, don't you get the message
I'm falling, falling in love with you
I'm falling in love with you
I'm falling in love with you

you know that feeling............

2006-12-04T15:51:00.000-08:00

when you have an awesome time wtih a decent person and you start having feelings for them,
but then you hear something through the grapevine
and you feel completely and totally used??

that's exactly how i am feeling right now.

USED.

i just wish that for once,
just once,
i could actually have a relationship
and not be shot down.
again.
and again.

thinking about that night,
~little p

heres my lovely theme song at the moment
hopefully not for long.

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl.

Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-beenB
ut that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And heaven knowsI'm not that girl...

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl...

also......

2006-12-03T17:08:00.000-08:00

heres to:
coming to my house and finding spencer............
spencer thinking steve irwin was dale ernhart..........
da bears..................
fiddler on the roof.......................
attractive men............

=)

a toast...........

2006-12-03T14:23:00.000-08:00

hello again my dears
well its been quite an exciting weekend

me and kylie placed fourth at morris!
FOURTH!
and our first round was horrible
but its still awesome
everyone did really good
and we won the overall competition

the after party at li's was the best though
how i love shomomma and tenacious d
especially when fruits is there.

and me and tori totally kicked but at strip airhockey
yeah about that.........

anyways
my toast

heres to
going 11 mph over the speed limit........
melissa stimson.....................
singing obnoxiously at police officers.........
li's abuelita....................
rice...............................
chocolate chip pancakes.....................
new beginnings..............................
and the little things that make life fun

2006-11-27T18:16:00.000-08:00

you know those times when you have no clue where the road is going?

this is most definetly one of those times.

i need help.

i don't know how i'll get it, but i need it.

broadcasting tryouts were just ugh.

it was bad.

oh well

trying to see down the road a little farther,

~little p.

a song for my people, this is what i need.
just someone to believe in me.

Song: If I Didn't Believe in You

There are people
And they are publishing my book
And there's a party that they're throwing
And while you've made it very clear that you're not going
I will be going
And that's done

But what's it really about?
Is it really about a party, Cathy?
Can we please for a minute stop blaming
And say what you feel?
Is it just that you're disappointed
To be touring again for the summer?
Did you think this would all be much easier
Than it's turned out to be?
Well, then talk to me, Cathy
Talk to me

If I didn't believe in you
We'd never have gotten this far
If I didn't believe in you
And all of the ten thousand women you are
If I didn't think you could do
Anything you ever wanted to
If I wasn't certain that you'd come through somehow
THe fact of the matter is, Cathy
I wouldn't be standing here now

If I didn't believe in you
We wouldn't be having this fight
If I didn't believe in you
I'd walk out the door and say,"Cathy, you're right"
But I never could let that go
Knowing the things about you I know
Things, when I met you four years ago, I knew
It never took much convincing
To make me believe in you

Don't we get to be happy, Cathy?
At some point down the line
Don't we get to relax?
Without some new tsuris
To push me yet further from you?
If I'm cheering on your side, Cathy
Why can't you support mine?

Why do I have to feel
I've committed some felony
Doing what I always swore I would do?
I don't want you to hurtI don't want you to sink
But you know what I think?I

think you'll be fine!
Just hang on and you'll see-
But don't make me wait till you do
To be happy with you
Will you listen to me?

No one can give you courage
No one can thicken your skin
I will not fail so you can be comfortable, Cathy
I will not lose because you can't win

If I didn't believe in you
Then here's where the travelogue ends
If I didn't believe in you
I couldn't have stood before all of our friends
And said, "This is the life I choose-
This is the thing I can't bear to lose
Trip us or trap us, but we refuse to fall"
That's what I thought we agreed on, Cathy
If I hadn't believed in you
I wouldn't have loved you at all

did you hear?

2006-11-24T14:03:00.000-08:00

OEHS Re-Thanksgiving!!!
Who: OEHS Drama/Speech Kids
When : Saturday, Nov. 25th
Time : 5:00 p.m.
Where: Zach Haf's new house
IM me for info, addresses, and phone numbers.Or, check out Nick's blog.
A GREAT WAY TO GET RID OF THOSE THANKSGIVING LEFT-OVERS(Hint: BRING FOOD)
SPREAD THE WORD, PLEASE!!

don't touch the chastity

2006-11-22T13:51:00.000-08:00

gosh i love QUEST
only our group could talk about robin hood: men in tights
and god at the same time.
that girl is my new favorite person.
she should be yours too
=)
then there's singing sexual healing at our meeting
but thats a story for another day.

----------------------------------------------------------------

moving onward,
im tired of life.
i seriously am.
im tired of the drama.
the tears.
the pain.
the problems.
ugh i just want it all to go away.
and leave me alone.
you know the commercials where the guy has a cloud over his head and its always raining?
thats me.
hopefully not for long though.

no, its not hope.
its maybe.
hope is too strong of a word.
everytime hope comes, it just gets shot down.
so it will never be hope.
just maybes.

sorry that i have nothing happy to discuss.
other than not touching the chastity.
i live a sad existence.
but what can you do.

oh and just to add.
he's back.
and i just found out why he left.
next time we are together,
wow that is going to be rough.
definetly tears.
but more on that later.

holding on to her maybe's,
little p.

----------------------------------------------
heres my new favorite song
deals with a lot of things,
but hey
if i could do this to him,
i would.

"Before He Cheats"

Right now,
he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blonde tramp and she's probably getting frisky...
right now,
he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey...
Right now,
he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo...

And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires
...Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Right now,
she's probably up singing somewhite-trash version of Shania karoke..
Right now,
she's probably saying "I'm drunk"and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky,
Right now,
he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo...

And he don't know...
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

I might saved a little trouble for the next girl,
Cause the next time that he cheats...
Oh, you know it won't be on me!
Ohh... not on me...

Cause I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Ohh..
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...
Ohh...
before he cheats...

its been awhile

2006-11-19T13:50:00.000-08:00

well my dears, it certainly has been a while.
lets just say being sick. gets to you
in more ways than one.

then i got a call from poms coach
yelling at me about how i wasnt at practice when i was sick
aqnd how i didnt go on friday when i was still feeling pretty bad
and i didnt even know i had practice untill it was too late.

it just made me frustrated.
and now girls on the squad are talking about me.
ugh
it just makes me want to have a total breakdown.
i hate drama.

but speech is going ok
me and kylie are going to rock dda
and my hi is just awesome

well i need to go and get ready for QUEST

later days,

~little p.

2006-11-10T04:23:00.000-08:00

i never thought that i would have been that stupid
to just let that moment walk right on by,
ugh it makes me mad.
why can't i do the things that i want?

monday.
monday is now officially dday.
now or never ladies and gents.
now or never.
plus, me and miss lauren had a pinkie promise.
and the penalty for breaking them is deafs.

is that anything like death?
yessssssss.

sorry had a producers moment.
good musical you should see it.

but anywho, i want to do it.
and i will.
hopefully.
i can't put it off any longer.

and no matter what happens,
i will always have my fellow drama folk
......right?

and if you have no clue what i am rambling about.
you probably dont need to know.
unless you ask and i feel like telling.
which is highly unlikely,
but you can always try.

wishing that she had the guts,
and the boy,
and was in his arms,

little p.

a little song for you, it's called save the day by train. if you change the words slightly it totally fights me for example superman to supergirl. you get the picture. so here it is.

Ten pounds too much to the naked eye
I don't take the bus because she drives
Watermelon lipstick, and way too much
She got buttermilk smile and a thorny touch

Street smart, like a Courtney Love
Can't get enough Hollywood stories of
Anybody famous that can make her feel
Like they're all kinda friends in a way

No best friend, well one but she's crazy
Grew up to end up a Professor of lazy
The last of six kids that all left town
Seems nobody ever wanted them around

But she's cool like a soda can sittin' on ice
Always orders sushi, only eats the rice
Talks about J Lo like they're best of friends
I think she loves me, but it all depends

Hey baby, I don't wanna be your Superman
I just wanna be your man and I'll be super, baby
You'll be standin' in the sun shine
I'll be standin' right here in the rain
You save me and I will save the day

I got a sweet gig rakin' in the cash with karaoke
I get the crowd goin' when I sing the hokey pokey
I shake it to theleft and then I shake it to the right
What's not to love, man I'm on tonight

I got the LA stylie with the New York trim
Keep my pants so low
It's like I'm goin' for a swim
I got the Coppertone tan, like in Mexico
Well, not now but when I go, yea

I know you don't see me like a movie star
And it can't help much that I don't have no car
But you're my favorite thing, by far
That's gotta count for something

hey baby, I don't wanna be your superman
I just wanna be your man and I'll be super, baby
you'll be standing in the sun shine,
I'll be standing right here in the rain
you save me than I will save the day.

If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it.

2006-11-08T04:29:00.000-08:00

wow.

i need to get some courage ladies and gents.

courage.

hoping to have a POTC ending,

~little p.

to never knowing what day is a silver day, and to second chances.

2006-11-06T16:20:00.000-08:00

urgh
today was just....urgh

i thought i had gym, which would have been nice, but no i had choir
i love choir to death,
but at this particular moment in time,
i really needed to have gym.
things needed to be discussed,
that can not be discussed in choir.
but oh well, it was fun all the same.

and you know what i realized?
that maybe i am moving too fast
maybe i just need to let things happen.
and if what i want happens, great.
but if not, than thats ok

and congrats to my brother, for finally getting that second chance.
he's lookin at you, kid.

a toast............to letting things happen, waiting and wishing, and maybe just maybe, being with the one you love.

~Little P.

explaining why i like him, is like explaining how water tastes

2006-11-04T12:18:00.000-08:00

well now today is going to be fun

dani's party is later tonight,
and i cant wait
its going to be pretty awesome
especially since he will be there
at least i think
=)

who knows
but im getting my costume together,
nancy drew all the way.
oh how i love my costume.

well not much other than that going on right now,
so i will write more later
i leave you with a quote from grey's anatomy
which goes out to that special someone.

I bet you didn't know that I am terrified of the dark.
And that everytime I think of you, I smile.
I bet you don't know that I hate thunderstorms,
but I love dancing in the rain.
Or how much I laugh with my friends,
or how much I truly enjoy being happy.
I bet you don't know how many tears I've cried, just for you.
Or how much I doubt myself, everyday.
I bet you don't know how ticklish I am.
Or how I can't make decisions.
Or how it drives me crazy when you look into my eyes.
I bet you didn't know that I would do anything to be with you.
But mostly, I bet you didn't know.
How much I love you.
--Grey's Anatomy

from the confused desk of
~Little P.

you'll get to be happy

2006-11-03T13:04:00.000-08:00

our choir concert was amazing yesterday
almost every choir was amazing.
just a few made me want to cry.
which is an improvement.
=)
but seriously
i heart OEHS music department.
its just.......awesome

the only thing bad about it was that he didnt come.
he said that he would.
but whatever.
he just better have a good explanation for it.
let me tell you
if he doesnt,
the claws are coming out
hehe

todays been okay
just a lazy day
i definetly needed it
i love just hanging out at home sometimes.
im playing the last five years on the piano, and its just amazing.
gohs i love that musical.

then nick got his liscence.
FINALLY!
now we can actually go more places.

well i must be off. i need to figure out what im going as to dani's party tomorrow.
its going to be awesome
you watch.

much love to all
~ little P.

PS. by the way we did a personality test in oral communications and apparently this is me.

Reds-Red is the color of blood and Valentines and tends to connote passion and enthusiasm, which sounds a lot like reds. Reds are happiest when they are influencing or entertaining other people. They, like the blues, are comfortable taking risks and enjoy trying new things. They get bored if they have to do the same old thing all the time. They are charming, playful, spontaneous, talkative types who are energized by being the center of attention. They are motivated by recognition-- they want to be liked! Other styles see them as unfocused procrastinators who make up the rules as they go along, but appreciate their talents as great promoters who can sell anything.

Sound like anyone?

shall we dance?

2006-11-01T16:33:00.000-08:00

well ToTing was kind of fun

there was barely anyone there.
the little kids were sad because of it.
and it was just a depressing halloween.

the only bright side was cory.
gosh i love that kid.
he's 8 and knows more than i ever will.
he can cheer me up in a blink of an eye.

kind of like someone else i know,
but lets not discuss that now.
he needs to stop playing
and just make a decision.
im tired of it.

sorry for the emo paragraph.
but anywho
i feel like dancing.
so i will leave you with this thought.
why can't guys just tell you how they feel about you?
so you don't make a complete fool of yourself?

~ Little P.

And theres no one left, who has ever known us apart

2006-10-31T04:32:00.000-08:00

well ladies and gentlemen,
its been quite the day.

its not so much the actual events of the day.
just the feeling.
i really wish i had the courage to do something.
anything.
but alas, i do not.

and i am left with one of the worst hands in poker
7-2 off suit.
The flop isn't looking so good
7-3-queen

maybe the river card could be my lucky card?
who knows.

waiting for the dealer to finally turn that card,
~Little P

a day of odd conversations, meeting a marine, and laughing at matt

2006-10-30T16:02:00.000-08:00

today was awesome
i dont know exactly why,
but it totally was.

i had a very.......i guess the word is interesting conversation in choir
apparently someones mom was talking to her about me
why you ask?
my thoughts exactly
so maybe a question to be answered in the near future
i hope.

at broadcasting i met a marine who was there for the
why i stand for the pledge segement.
he was severly injured 1 month into his service in Iraq
that sucks.
severely.
but he was pretty nice.
he explained all his badges, and was just a pretty cool guy.
something i definetly wont forget.

the highlight of my day though was seeing matt adams on crutches.
i know its horrible.
but he laughed histerically at me being a gimp
and to see him on crutches, ah it just made my day.
well almost.

the icing on the cake was little B's letter.
gosh i love that girl
we are in the same situation i guess, just with different gentlemen.
and we will go to our rock.
wether it be now or in twenty years,
you can find us there.

im still wondering though.
what if for some spontaneous reason,
he has a change of heart?
or he just finally starts to notice me?
well you know what, I'm praying for it.
hard.

from the rock where the sand meets the ocean.

~Little P.

a song for you!

Goodbye Until Tomorrow
The Last Five Years

Don't kiss me goodbye again
Leave this night clean and quiet
You want the last word
You want me to laugh
But leave it for now
All you can say
All you can feel
Was wrapped up inside that one perfect kiss
Leave it at that:
I'll watch you turn the corner and go...

And goodbye until tomorrow
Goodbye until the next time you call
And I'll be waiting
Goodbye until tomorrow
Goodbye till I recall how to breathe
And I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you

I stand on a precipice
I struggle to keep my balance
I open myselfI open myself one stitch at a time
Finally yes!
Finally now!
Finally something takes me away
Finally free!
Finally he can cut through these strings
And open my wings!

So goodbye until tomorrow!
Goodbye until my feet touch the floor
And I will be waitingI will be waiting!
Goodbye until tomorrow
Goodbye until the rest of my life
And I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you

JAMIE
I called Elise to help me pack my bags
I went downtown and closed the bank account
It's not about another shrink
It's not about another compromise
I'm not the only one who's hurting here
I don't know what the hell is left to do
You never saw how far the crack had opened
You never knew I had run out of rope and
I could never rescue you
All you ever wanted
But I could never rescue you
No matter how I tried
All I could do was love you hard
And let you go
No matter how I tried
All I could do was love you
God, I loved you so
So we could fight
Or we could wait
Or I could go...

CATHERINE
Goodbye until tomorrow!
Goodbye until I crawl to your door
And I will be waiting
I will be waiting

JAMIE
You never noticed how the wind had changed

CATHERINE
Goodbye until tomorrow!

JAMIE
I didn't see a way we both could win

CATHERINE
Goodbye until I'm done thanking God
For I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you
I have been waiting!

JAMIE
Goodbye, Cathy

CATHERINE
I have been waiting for you

JAMIE
Goodbye

CATHERINE
I will keep waiting -
I will be waiting for you
Just close the gat
eI'll stand and wait Jamie...

BOTH
Goodbye

I've got a singular impression things are moving too fast

2006-10-28T14:04:00.000-07:00

i've got one thing to say to the world
SLOW DOWN!!
everyones going way to just enjoy life
so stop to smell the roses people!

I'm guilty of this too.
I'm trying to live so fast and get everything done,
that I'm not loving life.
and i should be.

ahh the morals of The Last Five Years.
got to love it.

so today is the last performance of the Diviners.
and i must say that this show has been amazing.
we've made this show sparkle,
and you can definetly tell.
i'm so sad though.
i'll miss hanging out with everyone right after school.

but not to worry!
speech team is here!
i cant wait, oh it shall be amazing!

and tonight, im living life, no regrets.
CARPE DIEM.

from the crazy desk of,
~melissa

well whatever it is, it won't matter five years from now

2006-10-27T04:32:00.000-07:00

yesterday was.........
well, it was yesterday.
i just couldn't take it.
no one knows the real story except maybe one person,
so dont judge
my life is just going down hill at the moment,
and i needed a good cry.
which i most definetly got.

so lets just drop this subject ok?
sounds good

then taylor said to me that whatever i'm mad about,
won't matter five years from now, so dont worry about it.
and shes right.
it wont.

so now im not going to let anything affect me like i have in the past.
so goodbye to the old me
hello to the new.

waiting untill those five years pass,
~melissa

and since i have to be in love with someone, maybe i could be in love with someone just like you

2006-10-23T17:39:00.000-07:00

i really dont feel like talking about today.
if you know what happened, great for you.
and if you don't, we do not need to discuss it hear.
its more of an in person convo, and you should know if i wanted you to know.
so thats the end of it.
i really do not want to hear about it anymore.

after that bright note,
i decided that im going to be nancy drew for dani's partay!!
i cant wait, its going to be a blast.
now i just have to find an outfit, but that won't be too hard.

Diviners is going pretty good.
it ran a lot smoother today,
at least smoother than before.
i can't believe that we open in only TWO DAYS!!
ahhhhhh!
we will be fine though,
at least i hope so.

the only annoying thing is that this means i will be with certain people
for the entire week.
which i can deal with.
but i would rather not.
to much DRAMA in the drama department.

the sad thing is,
we are like a southern community.
no one can do anything without someone else finding out,
and then eventually everyone will find out.
so the secret is..........
dont have secrets
just tell the world how you feel!

ahh the joys of having friends that care a little too much about you.
i love it.
i would rather have them be extremely overprotective
then let me do stupid things.
gosh i LURVE you guys!

thank god for michael buble.
i dont know what i would do without him.
his music just calms me.
ahhh.
i love it.

from the calm desk of

~melissa

and he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger

2006-10-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

god i love my brothers.
only we will blast eye of the tiger while coming home from church and sing at the top of our lungs.
yup.
thats just how cool we are.
admit it, you want to be a pankuch.

there ya go,
dont you feel better now?

ok moving onward........
today was a pretty normal day. went to church, tink was home from college, so it was nice to see her again. then we cam home, played on the XBOX 360 for a little bit(i blew up some aliens hehe), and now im writing a speech and talking to you lovely people.
today was definetly not exciting for the most part.

15 days, thats how long it has been.
i mean i dont mean im counting.
even im starting to get curious now.
not that i wasnt curious in the beginning.
and if you ahve no clue what im talking about,
dont worry your pretty little head.

so this week, im going to do something for me.
you may not like me for it, especially specific individuals,
but try and stop me.
just try and stop me smee.
i dont care if you dont like me for it,
thats your decision.
i dont care what you say,
cause i say
CARPE DIEM BABY!!

so there.
TREA-TED.
=)

well folks, the night is young, and so am i, so i think i shall be off.

untill we meet again,
~melissa

we never even heard the gunshots.....

2006-10-21T10:58:00.000-07:00

i never thought 2 days could go by as quickly as they have.

the game yesterday was awesome.
we did amazing at poms, and i had tons of fun hanging out with all my awesome drama and marching band people.
it was sad to see all the seniors though
knowing that at the next football game they wouldnt be there.
AHHHH! whatever shall i do without you all?!?!?!

It's too crazy to think about right now

So we lost the football game, but it doesnt even matter
because we most definetly have better fans and
we are just more awesome than OHS will ever be.

So there.

Kylie stayed over, and that was pretty fun.
Lots of CSI, popcorn, and stupid remarks at odd times at night.
gosh i love that girl.

Rumors was pretty good today.
There are some people that we AMAZING but then there were others who were just ok.
thats what usually happens in shows.
The second act was hilarious.
gosh i love anthony, he was absolutely wonderful.

i got to see nicole today at OHS!
i didnt realize how much i missed her untill i saw her,
its just crazy.

but today i realized something.
I'm happy with my life right now.
Like really happy.
I have amazing friends, an awesome family, poms,
im in an awesome show, choir is fabulous, i dont know,
im just really happy.
and right now i dont think that anything could ever bring me down.

there is only one thing that could ever make me happier,
but yeah right that is ever going to happen.
but im ok with that.
sometimes, i even think that maybe it would be a bad time for it,
because im so happy with the way my life is right now.

so im going to just keep on truckin. after all, life is a highway

~melissa

Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts
Life's like a road that you travel on
When there's one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend and sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind
There's a world outside ev'ry darkened door
Where blues won't haunt you anymore
Where brave are free and lovers soar
Come ride with me to the distant shore
We won't hesitate
To Break down the garden gate
There's not much time left today

Life is a highway
I wanna ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I wanna drive it all night long

Through all these cities and all these towns
It's in my blood and it's all around
I love you now like I loved you then
This is the road and these are the hands
From Mozambique to those Memphis nights
The khyber Pass to Vancouver's lights

Knock me down get back up again
You're in my blood I'm not a lonely man
There's no load I can't hold
Road so rough this I know I'll be there when the light comes in
Just tell 'em we're survivors

Life is a highway
I wanna ride it all night long
If your going my way I wanna drive it all night long

Gimme gimme gimme gimme
yeah Life is a highway
I wanna ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I wanna drive it all night long

There was a distance between you and I
A misunderstanding once
But now we look it in the eye
There ain't no load that I can't hold
Road so rough this I know
I'll be there when the light comes in
Just tell 'em we're survivors

Life is a highway
I wanna ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I wanna drive it all night long

i know! i'll say brad and angelina went to the mountains!

2006-10-18T18:18:00.000-07:00

so today was pretty lousy.
and i mean lousy.

the nice thing was me and david finally started talking today after our big fight, and it was nice to talk to him again. i didnt realize how much i actually missed him i guess. thats what happens when you dont talk to someone that you always were with i guess.

some interesting things happened at the Diviners too. one of my closest friends asked me out, and i said no. i know it might sound horrible, but why go into a relationship when you dont want it and have nothing to put into it? and why put him through pain just so you dont have to hurt him right away? eventually, you would hurt him now, or later. your choice. so i decided now. plus, i like one of his pretty good friends. this really sucks. i mean i cant just go out with his friend now can i? thats just a tad odd, and wrong if you ask me.

why are men so confusing?? urgh, they make me want to punch babies. (not literally though, don't get all riled up about it)

and i wish he didnt have to be so darn amazing. it would make things go a lot easier for me.

now, referring to my title, i guess i should tell the story now. so yeah i was talking to sean backstage with zach h. while he was doing his spanish homework. he had to do like 150 words about celebrities in spanish or something i wasnt really paying attention. so he was thinking of all these things like paris buying her dog and rachel ray having sex with a pomegranete (...?) and then he just randomly shouted "OH i know! I'll say that Brad and Angelina went to the mountains!"

overall, today's motto is most definetly ...?

so tomorrow is my first day back in gym, and i really dont want to do it. i mean i love gym dont get me wrong, but seriously, who likes running like a trillion laps around the track? thats right like 2 people in the universe!!!!!

poms tomorrow, im so excited im jumping out of my boots................right about that. i dislike coach keck ....quite a bit. she said she was going to get the cheapest warm up jacket. they were 90 bloody dollars. great job, glad you put some effort into it.

from the horrible feeling desk of
- miss meliss

"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...

cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.

[Pre-Chorus]Stop right there.
That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line.
Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there.
Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

[Chorus]I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.
I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.

[Pre-Chorus x2]
[Chorus]
Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me
.Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

this world aint big enough for the both of us

2006-10-17T16:41:00.000-07:00

bleh.
that was my day.
bleh.

the only nice exciting part about the entire day was going to the doctor and getting my brace off. W00t W00t!! i finally can do gym again! gosh i missed gym!

wow i did not just say that..............

on a lower note, i had a breakdown. i dont know what to do about it. i dont want to not pursue someone just because a friend still has feelings for him and she would be hurt if we were together, but then again i dont want to hurt her either. so i've decided to sit back and just watch. if things happen, they will happen i guess. and if they dont, maybe the big man upstiars has something else planned.

you never know. and thats what gets to me. i want to know everything about what will happen in the future, but i cant. i just want to know if i can have something to look forward to.

one thing that i CAN look forward to is Kylie coming over on friday night after the game. its gonna be one rad party, you all wish you could be there. but its by invitation only and sadly, only one invitation was sent. =) Then we are going to see the OHS play, so that should be fun, but people will be there, and i just hope that it doesnt ruin anything.

but look on the brightside kid, you always can make somethin outta nothin.

and thats what keeps melissa pankuch going ladies and gents.

after all, tomorrow is another day.

Nobody needs to know - the Last Five Years

JAMIE
Hey, kid - good morning
You look like an angel
I don't remember when we fell asleep
We should get up, kid
Cathy is waiting...

Look at us, lying here
Dreaming, pretending
I made a promise and I took a vow
I wrote a story
And we changed the ending
Cathy, just look at me now!

Hold on, facts are facts
Just relax, lay low
All right, the panic recedes
Nobody needs to know

Put on my armore
I'm off to Ohio
Back into battle till
I don't know when
Swearing to her that I was
Never with you
And praying I'll hold you again

Hold on, clip these wings -
Things get out of hand
All right, it's over, it's done
No one will understand
No one will understand...

We build a treehouse
I keep it from shaking
Little more glue every time that it breaks
Perfectly balanced
And then I start making
Conscious, deliberate mistakes

All that I ask forIs one little corner
One private room
At the back of my heart
Tell her I found one
She sends out battalions
To claim it and blow it apart

I grip and she grips
And faster we're sliding
Sliding and spilling
And what can I do?
Come back to bed, kid
Take me inside you
I pormise I won't lie to you

Hold on, don't cry yet
I won't let you go
All right - the panic recedes
All right - everyone bleeds
All right - I get what I need
And nobody needs to know
Nobody needs to know

And since I have to be in love with someone
Since I need to be in love with someone
Maybe I could be in love with someone
Like you...

waiting on some beautiful boy who'd, save you from your old ways

2006-10-16T19:02:00.000-07:00

well, today was .................... interesting i guess

it was my first school day without crutches, and let me tell you my knee hurt like a mother, but i hated those crutches, and i never want to see them again. hopefully i wont have to.

after school was the worst though. i fought with "" about a guy that she apparently still has feelings for that i said i kind of like but not really. she kind of totally went off on me about how she doesnt want me with him because it would hurt her. she has a boy, so why does it really matter. i mean i see where she is coming from dont get me wrong, but then again, i really dont.

then me and kylie decided that kevin officially has a 5 1/2 pack and he has very smooth muscles.
hehe =)

i can just feel that it is going to be an extremely long week, that will be full of drama.
im just bursting with excitement, cant you tell?

gosh kylie, im really craving our famous amos cookies right now!!

cath you all on the flipside,
miss meliss

when somebody breaks your heart like you, like you broke mine

2006-10-15T12:12:00.000-07:00

well its been quite the week now hasnt it?

so much drama

but there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. i dont have to use crutches anymore! i can finally walk like a normal person again! it may not sound exciting to all of you, but believe me, this is up there on my lists of most exciting moments in my life. right after being born and meeting my best friend.

=)

friday was "D-day" for my brother, and i really hope it works out for him. he deserves it, even if some of you don't think so. I live with him, believe me i know.

then this whole weekend i have been working on my gone with the wind project, which is basically deciding wether i pass english or not. its a very long project, but it is fun. i finished the background powerpoint and am finishing up the review. The just leaves the book vover and the three commercials. I'm so excited for one of my commercials, which is going to be when Rhett leaves Scarlett, and she pushes the easy button and Rhett comes back to her. oh my will that be fun, especially with nick as rhett. hehe

I also had some "religious talks" with Kylie this week, and let me tell you those were quite interesting. who knew something like that could happen? believe me i didnt, and it happened to me

but you know if things happen they will happen, we will just leave it to the big man upstairs to figure that out for us.

i have quest tonight, so maybe that's what i will pray for.

found an awesome song, and i thought you all might enjoy it.

from the amazing desk of,

miss meliss

I Wanna Be Around( Tony Bennett featuring: Bono)
I wanna be around to pick up the pieces
When somebody breaks your heart
Some somebody twice as smart as I

A somebody who will swear to be true
As you used to do with me
Who'll leave you to learn
That mis'ry loves company, wait and see

I mean, I wanna be around to see how he does it
When he breaks your heart to bits
Let's see if the puzzle fits so fine

And that's when I'll discover that revenge is sweet
As I sit there applaudin' from a front-row seat
When somebody breaks your heart
Like you, like you broke mine

8 1/2 cats, 2 spinsters, and a gerbil?

2006-10-07T15:15:00.000-07:00

you know what i learned last night?
that reminicing on docks that look out at an empty theatre is an amazing experience
just sitting there, staring at the seats, made me realized i needed to move on
as my family says " sith happens"
=)
then i listened to Michael Buble's song " You Don't know me" and i felt better. That's when i went to talk to Lauren b., i wont even try to spell your last name dear. but anywho, i went to talk to her, and we officially decided that we have no confidence when it comes to men, and we probably should take action and not just watch everything from a distance. we also decided that we are going to be old ladies together, and live in a huge house with 8 1/2 cats and a gerbil. we like gerbils. on the brightside, at least i won't be a lonely old maid.

You Don't Know Me by Michael Buble'

You give your hand to me
Then you say hello
I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don't know me

No, you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at nigh
tAnd longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I'm just a friend
That's all I've ever been'
Cause you don't know me

I never knew
The art of making love
Though my heart aches
With love for you
Afraid and shy I've let my chance to go by
The chance that you might Love me, too

You give your hand to me
And then you say good-bye
I watch you walk away
Beside the lucky guy

You'll never never know
The one who loves you so
Well, you don't know me

You give your hand to me, baby
Then you say good-bye
I watch you walk away
Beside the lucky guy

No, no, you'll never ever know
The one who loves you so
Well, you don't know me

catch you on the flipside,
miss meliss

well dear, now you have to move on

2006-10-05T16:07:00.000-07:00

its true.

he has his girl now, so now I MUST move on, i have no choice.
it hurts, but that is just how its gonna have to be.

today was ok, not bad not horrible, i have bruises from the crutches, it hurts to do anything, and i don't know what i want anymore.

shout out to my boy brenden, who got surgery today. we get to be crutch buddies tomorrow

HURRAY!!

and david, kylie would like to know what you taste like
hehe

well, im off to L.I.F.E. hopefully it won't be as bad.

catch you on the flip side,
miss meliss

you just keep icing that..........

2006-10-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

i hate the school nurse.
she cant seem to remember that you are only supposed to leave ice on for 20 minutes, then take it off for 20, etc.
so i was running the mile right? bum bum bum just running when i step and get a shooting pain in my knee.
i finished the mile (it was my last lap)
but then i could barley walk, my knee locked up.
so then i had to go to the stupid nurse.
then i went home, and laid around all day until my doctors appointment at 330 i couldnt do anything cuz i couldnt walk, ugh it was so stupid.

then the doctor took some xrays and told me i pinched a tendon and a ligament, and that i have to use cruches and wear a big brace. no gym, no poms.

AHHH!
how will i survive???

but right now im making lemon bars for oral communications demonstration speech, and it is calming me down.

so please try not to be sympathetic too much tomorrow, ok?

from the wrong side of the street on crutches in the middle of rush hour,

miss meliss

I'm going to be a nun...........

2006-10-02T17:42:00.000-07:00

today was dreadful.
no questions asked.

the beginning of the day was ok. classes as usual, bored out of my mind until practice for the diviners. we paper mache'd the rest of the tree, and let me say it looks pretty flippin sweet. i was very proud. then we invented the tappy game, and let's just say, that was an interesting convo. it would have been perfect if fruits would have walked in on it, just perfect.

then came waiting for my mother to come. so i decided to hang out with all my marching band people, since they are just so cool like that. but then HE came. he wasnt supposed to. i wasnt supposed to react the way i did. running out of the room crying was not the best way to attempt to get over it. but then something extremely odd happened. out comes my brother who proceeds to literally sweep me off my feet, carry me to the middle of the hallway, sit down with me on my lap, and let me cry. gosh i needed that. he thinks its his fault, and its not, he says that if he could change how he was so i could be happy he would but heres the real plot twist ladies and gents.

i dont want him to change. if HE wont give me a chance because of my brother, he's twisted and severley needs a life.

but i was over him, i swear i was.

then i try to move on, and i find out someone is madly in love with the object of my affection.

so i will become a nun. i wont have any worries, all i have to do is pray, help the poor, and all that jazz. no boys. no drama.

but then again, it basically means no living for the moment. no carpe diem. didnt dead poets society teach me ANYTHING?

so i will just dream of being a nun, and deal with the crap.

well, tomorrow is a new day.

catch you on the flip side,

miss meliss